Progress!

I took my buddy David to Pei-Wei for lunch to try and repay him for babysitting drunk me, and as two friends are apt to do we make really inappropriate jokes around each other.

Our meal came to about 27 bucks, at which point David chuckled and said, “Wow. I guess I definitely have to put out now.”

To which I replied, “Psh, you better. I ordered edamame AND the crab wonton appetizers.”

David replied, “Blow-jobs, all around!” And we both laughed.

I then turned back to the kid behind the counter and found him looking uncomfortable. Which is when it hit me: Progress! The idea that men would be that openly gay with each other in public was so ludicrous when I was coming up that people had to assume you were joking. But, now, this kid has to assume that we might be serious, and this is how we negotiate which one of us is going to perform sexual acts upon the other. His only safe way to avoid giving offense is to be polite!

It probably also doesn’t help that David and I make a very ugly couple (two really hairy burly dudes, you’d have to be really super gay to find either us appealing… or a chick. I love women and their low standards for men) one wrong facial twitch and we might make him our twinkie (David: “eh, he was alright”).

Progress!

I would be disappointed about the fact that I can no longer make gay innuendo without people having to wonder how inappropriately frank I am about my gay sex life, but as a connoisseur of awkward moments I am too giddy from the possibilities.